"All I want to do is smile in the backseat of my friends’ cars, tipsy and laughing at nothing in particular. Finding humor in the way our legs stick together from the heat and you grin back at me, stupid and love with everything all at once. All I want to is to run down grass hills with you and sit on a dock till the sun rises. I only want to drink if later on, I’ll end up on the train tracks, spilling my guts to someone I barely know. I only want to love if it’ll feel like the time I led you to the liquor store roof and tossed pebbles on the sleeping road below, before kissing you and liking the taste of your mouth so much I held your hand the rest of the night. If my face has to be covered in tears, if my fists have to shake with anger, let me surrounded by my friends, crying as one of them strums a ukulele and sings about things I’m too sick to care for. Let me be thousands of miles from my home, uncertain of my own name and throwing up promises. If being young has to ache, let it ache like this. Let it hurt like my heart can’t hold all my desire. Let it hurt like me asking if I could kiss you as you lazily smoked a cigarette and you saying “no.” Let it hurt like the shocked look on your face and him sadly sitting on the steps, aware that I do horrible things when I am sad and that, despite all his insults, it was me who would be the monster if I did what I wanted and fell asleep with my head on your chest. If it has to ache, please, let it ache like this."
Take as many selfies as you want. Who cares when people look on your phone and think your weird. When you’re old you can show them to your kids and laugh.
Answer the boy that you shouldn’t. If he thought about you enough to message you, answer him. Text him when you’re drunk too. It was fun and in a few years it won’t make a difference that you did.
Dance. All the time. Always listen to your music too loud.
Be lazy. Watch disney movies all day while drinking tea under comfy blankets. Ignore your piles of homework.
Let yourself be sad. Don’t try and fight it. If you’re going to hurt, may as well let it be brutal. Listen to sad music. Watch sad movies. Cry your heart out.
Be a tease. Who cares what the boys say about it. Kiss them til they’re in agony, then stop. Put your head on their chest. They’ll hate you for it, but you’ll love yourself for it later.
Don’t style your hair. Especially on a windy day. Let it be wild and messy.
Love your parents. When you’re in an irritable mood, stay away from them. Lock yourself in your room. They don’t deserve your attitude.
Swear. There’s something extremely satisfying about it.
Write things down. Let your feelings bleed on to paper. Write down memories. Happy and sad.
Take pride that you love Harry Potter, or Sherlock or collecting coins or whatever it is you love. If people don’t love you for it, then what’s your use for them anyways?
Be selfish. Break somebody’s heart if it’s necessary for your own well being. It is not cruel to put yourself first. Never settle.
Believe in everything. Who’s to say it isn’t allowed? Have your own thoughts on life and death, not anybody else’s. Don’t be scared to admit death is something you look forward too, even if just out of curiosity. Or to admit you’re terrified of it.
Go outside in the rain and let it soak through your clothes. Kiss too many boys. Get too drunk. Laugh too hard with you best friend in a public place. Stare at your ceiling and be glad simply because you exist in such a complicated, breathtaking universe. Don’t conform to anything, go your own way. Find what makes you feel alive, and chase after it with all your soul.
-My advice on how to live"
"Because alcohol tastes better than tears."
"Sleep doesn’t relieve my exhaustion anymore."
You know when you’re little spoon and sleeping with someone and you wake up a little and scoot your butt and back towards them and they just so happen to be awake too and pull you in closer and you fall back asleep? Yeah. That.